long post alert
I looked over all the pics I took in 2018. I never realize how much we actually do until i looked at them! I shared via social media that we went on 2 camping trips, 2 trips to Mexico, 1 road trip to Washington & Idaho with stops in Montana, many trips to Winnipeg,all intertwined with lots of baseball, Hockey games, Nolan “working” at the zoo, any many other little things. Its funny what we share and what we don’t.
Here are a few things I will now share about 2018 that didn’t make the FB and Instagram highlight wheel, which is actually the real life. Some are lessons learned, some are challenges, revelations, and some are just well with no category, and of course in no proper order.

1. The best trips are road trips. Long and annoying with kids fighting, but those provide the best memories. Don’t pay to take your kids to Mexico TWICE. Leave that for just your spouse. Kids have fun and all but they just can’t appreciate it the way we do. Our boys appeared to have more fun camping then causing over the sea.
2. Its really hard not to get caught up in the Hoopla of getting on an A team. Yes, I wish that would go away and be conquered but it likes to return. Its amazing how kids place their worth next to their status in sports, and how us parents just want our kids to be happy and get on the team they are wishing for. We have had many talks about “our worth” and what matters, and the reality of not being the best. I realize over and over that it really makes no sense to care about such things as when they are older none of this will ever matter to them either. You don’t get a better crown if you make the best team every year.
3. Middle school is super hard. Its still full of crap like it was 20 plus years ago. Drugs, sex, the crazy things kids manage to do. This is reality and the whole world is like this. I make it an effort to continually talk to the boys about ALL the things of middle school and the stuff to come. No subject is off limits and no question gets a raised brow. As long as they are talking, sharing and asking its good. I have slowly begin to talk to the boys about my history and Miles has realized why I am so concerned. Like Yeah i was smoking pot and drinking at your age……so yeah the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree of two parents that were upto no good. Now i get it mom…..
4. having a kid that inherited your mental illness is CRAP. Dealing with it and parenting are a whole new level of exhausting that parenting a kid without the challenges of off balanced brain chemistry. I have come to laugh, mostly, that between the little guy and me we keep the pharmacy busy. Its part of the life we have been given and will continue on. When he was about 7 or 8 i remember thinking I wonder if he will make it to age 12. He is 12.Suicide stuff, depression, mood disorders,anxiety, have played a major role in our family life. Everything from not being able to keep a good friend, to failing grades, to physical violence, to far too many tears are just the tip of the iceberg of that whole life. Perspective, progress, and prayer have continued to slow the graying of my hair.
5. God gave me Brent and I am so very grateful. He deals with more than one basket case, works his tail off to provide all while cooking many dinners for us all. He has come to understand my anxiety over preparing food and just steps in and does it. He is my glue to my crazy thoughts. More and more I realize how good Ive got it with him.
6. Im reading the book His brain her brain and it really explains in a great way what to actually expect of your spouse.
7. Perspective is a way of life. I try to always look at the big picture from Gods view. Our life is 100 years at best….what are you worrying about that really doesn’t matter? gets me through many valleys.
8. just relax. Seriously. something bothers you? stop muling it over and talking about it. Pray about it. Done. Give it to God. Done. He can and will take care of it,maybe not how you’d like but you can be free from oh so much.
9.I have to pick many battles. Sometimes the boys get away with so much its sad and lazy on my part. Im just a human too though trying to live. I could tie up my child to his bed so he could commit less crimes but that doesn’t work either. We work daily on not cussing like a pirate.
10. Living free of extra stuff is the way to go. Again, freeing.
11.Priorities are funny. You do have time if its important to you. period. Ive been going to visit my Dad and family more and more in Winnipeg. Why? Well his health is poopy and I want to spend as much time as I can with him.Does it require sacrifice? yes…but it has become priority. This also applies to binge watching netflix series. If its important I will and want to make time I mean waste time.
12. Im realizing this is far too long and I could go on forever but I will quit.
13. one last thing-God and girlfriends I could not do without. All the above is hard, but I know its temporary and we are on this earth only a short time. If I keep God first the rest falls into place. and girlfriends you know who u are…i love you and can’t imagine sharing life with any other girls!

Also, i will not edit this.

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i just ate 5 scoops of cookie dough


this image has nothing to do with my post but I like it as it shows this interesting human we are raising.

Yes, I just ate 5 scoops of cookie dough. I ate a kale salad for lunch so I thought well i need a dessert now, and well like usual a little bite isn’t enough. The sad thing is well there will be more than 5 scoops eaten. A small mishap as Miles was making cookies yesterday…..three of his ingredients required one teaspoon of each. He accidentally used the big T and not the small t. “Don’t worry”, I said. “we can fix it”….three teaspoons in one tablespoon equates to making a triple recipe which equals a mix that is well over 100 cookies. UGH. Im pretty sure these are carb free as I am supposedly watching my carbs. Well thats a load of bologna.

Like many others, I have a food issue….always have always will? That darn sugar is like crack and the carbs oh how I love thee. You make me feel like crap so I end it eating more of you. Then I smarten up and eat pecans and almonds for a few days feeling all great….then I see cheesecake. You may think its not a real issue since I am for the most part on the thinner side, but no, the battle is real-the feelings are real-the binges and remorse are the same, and yes I feel I look fat too.

I like the word transparent as I heard it several times yesterday on a phone call. I believe it is one of my favorite characteristics of myself. No hidden nothing. Want to know? I’ll tell you. There is no extra layer of I have it together to be seen. It takes too much effort for that. Food- I am not afraid to say, takes up way too much of my thoughts. I will eat it faster just to not think of the extra back fat it will provide. Also, mental illness. Anxiety, depression, mood swings I have hours on those topics too. There is a sea of silent sufferers out there…including myself most times. ITs more in the spotlight day by day but it is overwhelmingly hard to treat and to live life with. Its hard too, because often it is invisible to those around you. You can’t see anything wrong often, except a running joke  of my mini pharmacy I run out of my house. Yep well those meds make me who I am too you.

In other news B and I have been watching the series Mad Men. We love it. Its quite interesting and is always the highlight of the evening after we put the littlest one to bed (my baby is almost 12) BARF. I love to love a series. Its a small breakup when it ends but when a new one is found, its puppy love all over. My faves thus far are:

Breaking Bad, Bloodline, The Killing, United States of Tara (hilarious), Orange is the New Black, Shameless, Black Mirror, Ozark, 13 reasons Why, Broadchurch….

And I wonder why I don’t have to read. This is better, the story is being read to you and you have pictures.

These are the series I started and quit caused they sucked according to me, or they didn’t grab my attention enough in the first 3 episodes so they were booted.

Stranger Things,Narcos, Santa Clarita Diet, The Ranch, Peaky Blinders ( i need subtitles), Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, MIndhunter, Flint Town, Blacklist (too predictable),

Enough on TV

Enough of this. I have a splitting headache, I have to pee, and that cookie dough is calling  I think.

professional sports $$$$




Injustices of this world. There are many. Some I can look beyond, some make me think, some drive me, and some irritate me.


Its more and more apparent that attending pro sports games for our family will be a rarity.  And why? Yes, these are the best pro athletes but why so much $. It is a disgrace that a family of four would pay at least a few hundred dollars to enjoy one 2 hour game,Well that limits about 1% that are able to attend, not to mention the $74 pretzel and the $69 coke,oh and jimmy needs the souvenir cup with lemonade in it….a cool $89. No biggie. We will drink the lemonade and love the cup for about a year which will then get tossed in the donate bin, or most likely garbage.

I have been to my fair lucky share of pro games. Growing up we had Winnipeg Jets season tickets and we have frequented the MN Twins a number of times. Its a great show, and entertaining, but why so much $.

Then, most recently, the football player Kirk Cousins contract. A 3 year $84 million contract.What? Why? like 80 million wasn’t enough….he needed 4 more. INJUSTICE.Does he deserve it? Sure, why not? He is working his tail off Im sure and will hopefully produce some amazing wins for the team. I mean that is definitely worth $84 million, I mean that is a lot of hits he will take, not to mention the pressure he will have. $84 million is probably the right amount….SAID NO ONE EVER.

I know some could care less and some never think about it…..but does everyone realize the amount of money they give one man could feed millions in the world? I am pretty sure if a few hungry kids walked across the field and up to Kirk Cousins( I’m only picking on him,cause its the latest), explained their situation he would help them out. I mean if he has a heart, which I am sure he does. It has to be on our doorstep to realize and acknowledge a need. Stats are eye rolled away not realizing these are actual people.

ANYWAY…=rabbit trail.

So much $$. I do wonder how my $200 ticket money is used. How much to the building? How much to the team? Now, I don’t want to point fingers at anyone here, as I would love  to see the Vikings on the field….well not love, but I wouldn’t say no to a ticket.

A fun idea to take the boys to a JETS game. 4 tickets please? That will be $400, plus you get to be in the back row. Hmmmm i’ll watch mini figures skate around to kind of see the game, most though will be watched on the big screen. But wait? $400 buys you, 4 plastic seats,strangers to sit by, an automatic flushing  public toilet with long lines, and the opportunity to spend mega bucks for a bag of chips. Why yes, Its the experience after all, nothing like being AT the game, A Part of the crowd.

With my little knowledge of how it all works, and with the countless players that share their wealth, overall it seems like the scale is tipped too many millions. Its too bad, I don’t understand the excess. Maybe…there is a good explanation that would change my perspective….because I do have little knowledge about the topic….just what I see and hear from the sports news analyst in our home, aka Miles.

My main itch is the impossible cost for a average fam to go to a game. Seriously. And the players salary, like that can make any sense.

For my pro sport live watching friends (i have a lot of you), I love you. This has nothing to do with you. You are blessed if you can attend these events…I mean they are fun! $15 licorice yes please.

my rug and eternity


yesterday was my birthday. Whoop de do, its just 36. I started my morning with my free drink (thank you starbucks), and perused target like I needed something. I did find some clearance gloves for the wild boy, travel size sunscreens, and 2 bags of Nibs (for the boys on the plane). Then I thought the boys ranch would be my next stop….looking for treasures or scanning junk, or both. After I left with a brand new toilet paper holder spring thing I was off to my next place. The spindle thing was .99 and seriously old child how did you lose yours in the bathroom.

Anywho still out looking for a rug. We bought one, used it for about 10 days and returned it…..cause it just wasn’t my style, Brent of course rolled it up and hauled it out. and returned it to the nice lady at the store. Now after the thrift store comes -slumberland-maybe Ill get lucky.

As i was walking in i thought of my oldest sister Carissa and how much I wish she was out with me, lazy shopping. I sipped my starbucks and longed,yes longed, for her to be by my side. I thought of all of the morning coffees we could still have, seeing the cousins for more than a few days a year, fun dinners, I could go on. I then thought of the families I know that are somewhat similar to mine and wished ours was like that. Siblings living in the same city, sharing their whole life together.I made myself snap out of it,  put my jealousy aside and concluded it could be way worse.

Then just like that the good ole Holy Spirit has amazing news for me….if he was audible it went something like this…..

“Sarah, I know how much you miss your family, I know you wanted to live closer, I know. I see you.  (now the good part). Life on earth is at best 100 years, which seems like a lifetime literally. Do you really want to see your sisters and not have to say goodbye?, Do you want to drink endless amounts of delicious coffee? and laugh eternally?. YOU WILL!!!Your time on this earth is so short, and Heaven, well Heaven is never ending and you will spend more time with your family than you were ever able to on earth.”

Now-that was some good news I needed to hear. I thought of the perfection of Heaven and how sometimes I anxiously await to get there! Im pretty sure I will eat passion fruit until my lips fall off….but wait, they won’t, cause…… its Heaven. As I write I miss my family as per usual and will continue to do so. But, there is a real God and I believe in Him and He loves me and chose me to be his daughter. I believe Jesus came to earth to die for me and my black heart, and that I can never pay him back. It is and was a gift freely given. Life has gone up and down for years, like everyone else, but one thing I know is TRUE, Heaven is going to be my permanent residence. Pretty sure he is preparing a place for me;).

Without faith I don’t know how to operate. Where would my hope be? Seriously, where does your hope rest? Don’t you wonder what is next? I sure have. I am secure and understand all the promises that have been given to me. I can unpack the weighty loads and toss them over to the man that carries all of them…..while giving back comfort and assurance. I look forward to eternity  with my brothers and sisters in Christ where perfection is everywhere, including us.

Now-that was not planned, but If you think the above is hokey or silly..I encourage you to see if it is real. Ask yourself who made the ocean and the millions of creatures in it? Seek God. Seek God. He doesn’t turn anyone away for lack of knowledge or lack of living a good honest life. You can start fresh, and concentrate on what He did for you before you think about anything else. Thank Him, I sure am. Im going to Mexico in a few short weeks and we are visiting the best ocean that God made. I will be able to enjoy his creation, that he made for us to enjoy!!  I will point the boys to it, and gladly tell them God created this, and everything else.

FYI I still struggle with many things,being a Christian does not exempt you from pain…. depression, social anxiety, I am still a parent of two boys entering the teen years who question what a dildo is, and talk about sperm swimming, and thats the mild side. We fight, we yell, we laugh, and then we yell again. My marriage can be and has been strained just like yours. Shit is a daily word for the wild boy and we continue our best to curb it, again the mild side. Life will continue to go up and down, but when my short years on earth are over, I know where I am going.

OH and the rest of the birthday included a chocolate ganache cake, tons of sushi, and lots of time with my family.


consumerism at its finest


I wasn’t going to participate initially with the announcement of Sams Club closing. Participate in the wide long line of people waiting to get in the store.The news of the 50% off the whole store though made my brain light up like any good money saving consumer. I drove by a few times looking at the massive line, and kept saying no way. I finally caved and saw people coming out with cartfuls of good stuff. Well, if I was going to buy the usuals anyway, I suppose standing in line wouldn’t be so bad if I could save a chunk of money. I went and stood in line with others with my trusty cart by my side. At this time the line was moving fast enough, I was outside waiting for like 20-25 min…

And then I entered! Way too many endorphins going off just for stuff! I enjoyed watching others put things in their cart, judging kindly of course. Hmmm, at what point do you buy it cause its soooooo much cheaper, or stick to your guns and buy what you normally would. I must say it was very exciting to fill my cart with beef jerky, sensodyne toothpaste, nuts, honey, all things that are so expensive. Those darn almonds! Look at my savings I told myself, so much for half the price. I leisurely looked at the “stuff” in the store, furniture, tech stuff, sheets, and pondered putting it my cart. Nope. Today I could say no. I circled around the aisles over and over jut enjoying looking at the items that were left….. I saw one lady grab the last Under Armour backpack……crap, I wanted that!! I eyed her and waited for her to put it down, since she was trying to decide. Good gravy I almost said “hey if you don’t want that, I’ll take it”. Savage consumer strikes again. She walked away and i was upset….I wanted that backpack. Do I need a backpack? No. How many do we have in the house? About 6. aha, all I wanted to do is replace my perfecting working backpack for a newer one. Oh so nice and new, but not today….she just walked away with it. What was the point? Do we overly consume or what? I think often if we only shopped for what we needed…pretty sure most stores would be out of business. FYI- I know we need businesses for jobs and blah blah blah but Im not talking about that.

I have been perusing stores for the last month looking for a new rug for our living room. Why? the hunt, the shopping, the relaxation, and well because WE NEED a new rug. What a lie. As I put my rug idea in the back of the brain it turns to art. Well we just made this new table, now we need some sweet art to go with it. A perfect picture with accents of red. As I read this back to myself, I can laugh at how pathetic this is……Clearly I have way too much time on my hands, when I am not the “head roller” of our painting co.

Then the consumer guilt, if there is such a thing….I think to the mission trips I have been on and the minimal “stuff” they have. If they have a rug, they wouldn’t ever replace it, I mean they have one, why a new one? I start thinking more, seriously what are our needs and what have we put into the needs column that are really just wants. A LOT. Its a temporary high of looking at your item, enjoying it, getting compliments on it, taking pics of it……how many weeks later it starts all over again with ooooohhhh I want that, I like it,  do I need it no? but it satisfies something in me. I know full well how to get lasting satisfaction and contentment and I try to stay on that road, but over and over I end up with the temporary satisfiers. Don’t get me wrong, I love a new table, new jeans, crap for my kids, but oh how it adds unwanted things as well. Overwhelming crap and everybody has too much of it. its distracting, time consuming, and we are never done.

FYI-this is, as usual, not judging the big consumer, for I am often one of them. I often can talk myself out of it, but soon after it creeps up and I NEED some cute decor in my kitchen! ha! Its a mentally draining thing to do, but yes who doesn’t like a nice clean home with a side or two of awesome stuff. Ok, Gotta go find that rug!

never ever again




I went out today with the intention of revisiting an activity i tried years ago….cross country skiing. Easy enough I thought. Some spark that had lit years ago, I had never gone again and as each winter would passed i was “doh”….next year. Not this year. I drove my independent self ( or so I tried to be) to the park, rented my gear, and set out for some “me” time. I stepped outside and off I went. Off to my right I see Mr. Professional cruising by like he does this for a job….ok Sarah, its fine you are not there but well I am sure pretty close. BIGGEST LIE EVER. Upon entering the forest they was a sizable hill. A hill I don’t even like riding with my bike….but I was like well here goes….like riding a bike right? Now I am half way down the hill and completely toppled over. My butt is throbbing like I pulled something and I hear a lady saying “I’ll help you up”. We exchanged quick words as I was determined to get going on my leisurely ski. A few minutes in and several strides later the good ole thought came back…..good grief woman you are not athletic, nope, not at all, and graceful, well for sure no. When I see you and your poles are flying all over the place trying to balance yourself and get steady…yeah no pretty picture there. Instead of trying and trying I pulled out the old google and youtubed how to cross country ski…after a quick demo I was confident, yep I can do that. I guess I could and I did, but it was not pretty, and why on earth can’t I stay upright!! (insert bad words) now more limbs are hurting and I feel like a failure and Im wishing I hadn’t tried to do the miss independent thing….cause I could really use a familiar face right now.  Every time I would have a close call with a face wash of snow I would look all around…who saw me? who is watching this disaster? oh please don’t come talk to me. All of this insecurity taking over my whole experience. Even when I would have a few good strides Id stop and look around….who is seeing this mess? Why am I here? Im glad no one came with me, cause boy oh boy they would be frustrated…. I tried to enjoy my crappy getting no where skiing, I tried to ignore my stiff body and that I wasn’t making myself hold my breath…..what on earth? This is not worth it, just quit and all will be well again.

So, I decided to head back…..or so I thought. In the last few years, somewhere along the line I lost my compass ,my internal one, right along with my memory. THIS is not a JOKE. I skied and pouted and skied and pouted and headed back. After an hour or more i marched across an open field to take the “short cut” back to the lodge. I would stop here and there taking on and off my skiis trying to just be done. I don’t know what field I crossed but I got myself so turned around in that park it was embarrassing….yes embarrassing because of all those people watching me, right? um nope coast is still pretty clear. I literally found a bench and googled my location, the map might have well been in Chinese, I just couldn’t figure it out. (more bad words) and sounds of frustration with myself and how stupid this was. More on and off skiing now with others coming both ways. A polite hello, and smile. Yep, do you think I could ask anyone of them the way back? nope. PRIDE, a demon of mine….I often don’t realize I struggle with PRIDE, until Im like no way I can ask them?

Then the professional man in his green jacket zips by. I hate you I say to him….Hey do you hear me??? I said I hate you. No, I didn’t say it, but I sure thought of it. More moments passed and I was seeing the same landmarks as I did awhile ago. Good grief woman.  Then I see someone from high school? What do I do? look down and ski to avoid all encounters. Pathetic, but this is me at 35? Wow, i amaze myself at how unsocial I am and how literally terrified of people I am. I check out my google map again, and Ive made progress, but progress to where? I don’t know. Why am I lost in my local park? Why can’t I understand a map? Why can’t I ski properly? To settle myself down I do what every good teenager would do….take a selfie. Look, I am angry skier, annoyed skier, having fun skier, then I laugh to myself and really wonder who I am. I ponder too many things and finally figure out the way back, or the way that I made it back.

The lady inside asked how it went and I told her, “I think you want to ask someone else”. OOOOOPPPPPSSSSS. Did I say that, yep. I was honest and told her it was a lot harder than it looked and that I will not attempt for at least another 10 years.

Back in my car I decided to stop at ALDI for some random groceries. AH YES, COMFORT. A grocery store where I can peruse, compare prices, find new eats, and all things fabulous. This is what I am good at. Yep. Groceries. I know there is more, but I sure wasn’t feeling it in the forest. As I write my head hurts from one of my many falls, and I wonder why people physically put themselves out there? Something that clearly doesn’t drive this woman. Back in my cozy nest I am relaxed but my hands are jittering. Must have to do with my compass and memory issue….as my dear friend would say…I think I am dying. SEE ya folks.


just snow already

I have been waiting for snow. Our snow levels have been extremely lame for the last 4 years. Its cold and windy, you might as well have it be pretty with snow. I am annoying peering out my window to make sure its still snowing, yes! still is! The more snow there is the better. We are supposedly getting a few inches of snow today, and Im praying that the forecasters could be right this time, last time there was supposed to be a “blizzard” and it didn’t happen. I was mad about it, not joking. I have found the worse the weather the happier I am. Something about snuggling inside and watching the weather is weirdly calming. So….with that…..please SNOW! And i know most people hate it and with it their driving is harder, they have to shovel, ….blah blah blah, i don’t care. Its worth it. And yes, I do participate in the harder driving and the clearing of the snow.

I had a challenge yesterday as I was shopping for a few things….just say Merry Christmas when you check out…..and FAIL. I had atleast 5 opportunities and nope I couldn’t do it. Im laughing at myself and how pathetic this is. My doctor even took my hand at the end of the appointment and said “Merry Christmas”, and Im like “U2”. That one was set up perfectly and still nada.  I wonder with my challenges and why I even give them to myself? I think I know I am capable of being more personal and social with strangers….its in me somewhere. It will happen the same day I raise my hands in church! Ha!

Giddy Up-these things make me super pumped and excited.

  1. I bought a cube organizer thing for Nolans crap in his room. I can’t wait to put it together and for the millionth time organize his junk. His junk is near and dear to him and I would never want to throw away a special piece of rope, or a mini eraser, or even worse a concoction that has been marinating in a some container.
  2. I am going to stuff my puzzle table somewhere in this house and I am going to start a puzzle. My favorite winter thing eva.
  3. A clean kitchen counter, like not a crumb and when you look at it at eye level you cannot see a thing….that kind of clean.
  4. Vacuum lines-need I say more
  5. Christmas Carols-the older the better. Bing Crosby to Mariah I love it. I don’t understand why you wouldn’t like them.
  6. Last-mowing the lawn-ahhhhh the lines, the short cut grass. I will get cranky if Brent does it and doesn’t let me do it.

Grrr-these things make me go mental

  1. living room blankets left on the floor, ahem which they always are. I don’t understand why you cannot just throw them on the couch.
  2. Talking/arguing news channels, the ones with the split screen where two people are disagreeing and both making their points AT THE SAME TIME. It feels like there are more people in my house, and I end up shushing everyone.
  3. watching a child clean up a liquid mess. I watch them closely and they never do the cloth justice by how they “rinse” it out, you can see the left over splatters sitting there.
  4. people that stand too close. Why? i can smell you being that close. I feel like your touching me, just move…my bubble is big, can you not see that?
  5. showers-like today is a shower day which means yesterday I didn’t so today I have too. I drag it out as long as I can…..unless I am going somewhere. I will clean for hours to put off showering. The whole process takes me less than 5 minutes, so once again no comprehendo.
  6. tv commercials-why is everyone yelling? once I can get the mute button pressed I feel like I can breathe again.
  7. nuisance things like going to the bathroom. Do I really need to get up again? clearly I am passed the little ones age when there are way more things that are a nuisance.


Mother TeRESA  is it still snowing!!!!!


add to the list


add to the list

I will listen to Oh Holy Night for many times in a row….just by a different artist. One day I will sound like Celion. fffaaaaaaaaaalllll on your kneeeeeees

why is it still hard to look someone in the eye? I mean a whole conversation is brutal. Ive tried not impulsively look away it just happens. I feel too exposed when the contact has lasted too long. So stop looking me in the eye the whole time. I haven’t grown up yet.

Handshakes-I have gotten some weird ones over the years. I don’t remember  when my last handshake was but i do remember the weird ones….his hand was all limp and not formed and just weird. Then i wonder what my handshake feels like…..most of the time i feel squeezed by the handshaker.

I have an oversensitive sniffer. I smell everything. If there is a smell that is nasty I must find it and get rid of it or go away from it. I will not stop until this is accomplished. No conversation can happen until the smell is taken care of.

fingernails-do people know they have dirty fingernails? do they but they don’t care? Its like jammed germs hanging on to your fingers. Then i picture them preparing food and I oh gross yuck….oh how about men with long fingernails? What? and why? they are so distracting and icky. Girls only. Barf.

Mullets-every time I see one I pause and ponder…..are they aware that their haircut is a mullet? Do they know people make fun of that cut and always will. Are they confident in their mullet and love the style of business up front, party in the back. Do people forgo mullet jokes around them?….and that rat tail. What? Yes, I would like to have a hairstyle where it looks like I have a rat tail coming out of my head. Oh ok! I hope I will never have to have a serious conversation with someone sporting the rat tail….I would be so distracted wanting to cut it off.

No judgement here really, I have some serious frizzy wavy hair, but I think its a tish better than the mullet and rat tail.

My children are farting more and burping more out loud. As gross as it is, I think its hilarious….more so when I am no where near them to catch a whiff.

Burping and blowing. Burp and quick let out your air by blowing your stank in someones face. So gross, but so funny, as long as I am not the receiver. Who comes up with this? Here!!!!  Share my smell!

RoAD RAGE-i am questioning drivers all the time and wondering how on earth do you not know that the left lane is the passing lane. They sit there and have no idea of the madness they are creating. I love to look and glare at them as I pass by….well I used to…now I am a little more kind and just take a glance as to see another clueless driver.

Do you sometimes have a craving so bad that you give in to the treat, but then eat like 10 of them to potentially get sick and then you’ll never want them again? Me neither. ha.( I heard it doesn’t work anyways….your loves for Oreos will not be snuffed out.

I yelled a bit at the ref this past hockey game, after I did i paused eyes wide open and put my hand over my mouth…Whoops, that some how came out! In my defense the kid was roughing our player and didn’t get called on it, and we would get a penalty when we did….kinda justified right?





greasy saturday

IMG_2938tis the season to eat more. Eat more delicious crap and feeling bloated and guilty afterwards. how can you not though? I always say if I died tomorrow I would be super happy I ate those 12 oreos. Somehow that statement gets me everytime I ponder my next sweet indulgence,  and Im like well I better just eat them. Then, when Monday rolls around I can be on my bunny diet again. These greens taste so amazing…said no one ever.

On another note, how on earth can one have the tv on all day? This happens at my house and it can drive me batty. Lately, Sunday schedule is wake up, church, eat, and football. They will watch football from noon until they go to sleep. Once a game ends they change the channel and voila another game and another. On any given Sunday I can watch plays from like 6 games. Amazing? no. torture. I believe this hobby can be lived out either upstairs or downstairs but why on the main floor. Don’t get me wrong…since I have learned the game it makes watching it way more fun….but why for 9 hours straight? today its saturday and Im lucky because the Bison are playing, so Saturday and Sunday I get to watch football :/ So, since I am wanting us all be together I get some important internet searching done. Pinterest, to Facebook, then Instragam, followed by Car Soup and Amazon, off to Power school to see how the boys grades are, back to Facebook to see if anything happened, over to all recipes, then to trip advisor and book it so I can read and reread reviews of the place we are staying at late February. I will read them over and over and literally pump myself up for the trip, and by the time we get there I will have memorized the layout of the resort! Sweet right! and all while “watching football” with the fam, then I will watch the game as they yell mom watch, did you see that? Now I can yes and thank goodness for instant replay or I would literally miss everything. Back to surfing and yelling at the boys to get along….fighting over EVERYTHING. I peruse target and West Elm and really start to shop for a nice rug. Another interruption about who is sitting where and whose feet are touching whose.

I look around and see my 3 turds, i mean my three boys, and the big guy is already sleeping (1st quarter), the smallest is picking at something (typical), and the middle has his eyes glued to the tv all while rattling off stats and info that I have no knowledge about, but enjoy every word. The youngest has now moved and is somewhat attacking his dads toes, while Dad is sleeping. In all reality he thinks this is ok and I smile waiting the for the “OUCH” and to see the wrath of being woken up to biting. Then prancing, followed by eating, by smart remarks, back to snacking and then pushups on the island. I wish i would lose calories while watching them move.

Well its 14-0 Bison and I must check on that reindeer bark I made this am.

God Bless America and Football


tuesday talk

lists- i love lists. lists of odd things are even better.

I have a hard time keeping my voice inside quiet. She always has something to say. Its really annoying at times-she should be able to shut up but somehow her mouth opens. Oh the change a trait of 30+ years, meh its a work in progress. Now, back to those lists


So much bloody stuff. I look at all the potential presents for family and I think….he already has something like that, or he doesn’t need another toy, and I will have to buy so many batteries for this, presents have lost their specialness if that’s a word. I do go out of my way to find some neat unique stuff, but in the end it goes into the pile of stuff. So, it was cute for a week or two and now, just taking up space. How I wish to not consume stuff, but like most, I do. Seriously stuff gets in the way of life, we are prisoners to our stuff. We want more and more and will never be satisfied….its like clothing while buying a new pair of pants…..so cute and they fit so nice, but……yep I do have already 13 pairs of pants that I currently am wearing, this 14th pair is not necessary like at all….but…..Ill shovel out some precious cash for more more more.As you can see I have feelings about stuff.  A lot of feelings on it. ugh, that wasn’t a list.

The guy infront of you driving-can he not hear that his blinker is still blinking….hundreds of yards down the road it still blinks….like how can you not notice that flashing thing or hear the clicking noise. I don’t get it. If I had earplugs in, I would still hear it.

The lady at the counter of a store….like a big box store. You see me coming with my “stuff”, and you walk away from your station….what? where are you going? you can clearly see me….just to waltz in a full minute later and act like nothing happened. Fun fact- this happened to me last week at a fabric counter in walmart…the only time in life I will ever buy fabric. Well it is walmart, so I shouldn’t have expectations right?!

Why do you curl your hair everyday or style it? I don’t understand. It adds on so many minutes and you get fried hair at the end of the deal-why? natural and frizzy is clearly the best option:)

I ate a cranberry yesterday. Never tried that before…very SOUR!

I only brush my teeth in the morning-NEVER at night. Gross people say, but that is a lifetime of laziness for you. Don’t even mention washing your face? Seriously people, take my crazy person meds and off to bed.

Sometimes I look at all my medication bottles and think ” I am one pathetic loser”….(dumb and Dumber). I wonder who i would be without all of them? you will never know because I would have killed you! ha ha, I wouldn’t, but I would most likely not like you.

Studying the Bible is one of the best things in life. Its reading a map of your life as well as others maps and it tells you what to expect, how to handle it, and who to go to. It answers most all questions. You will know you are set apart and find purpose in daily living. It is most interesting how the words are literally alive, and apply to all. All this from a book that you could read over and over and still learn. Now, thats quite the book!!

too much rambles-im done. oh wait- i see one of my favorites! despite it looking like open water….it is ice.