the slow life

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This picture makes me smile. My youngest sister taking care of some shaving for my dad. He was showing her how to go round and round and we were laughing as she hadn’t done this before. The process of my Dad moving into assisted living has been interesting to say the least. We have watched him age years over the last year and well its new territory for all us. His hands are hurting and numb and he has lost so much strength in his hands and fingers. Watching him do the things we do with ease is sad and hard. Its hard not to jump in right away and help, but if he doesn’t keep moving he will continue to lose mobility. I have had a few meals in the dining room with him. This is also and interesting experience. You see from table to table that your dad is no exception to this crap. Being able to see different seniors at different phases has been quite intriguing. I try not to stare but its my curiosity that I can’t stop. From watching one man eating waffles that have been purreed to the lady that just stares into space, back to another  who sips his water with his hand shaking violently. As i write my Dad is sleeping in his chair having his morning siesta. I keep looking over to see if he is still snoozing and continue to type, and while wondering if his blasting Dragons Den show will wake him up. I don’t dare touch the remote because he will hear it! Ill spend a few days here basically just being a companion and friend. I believe its what he needs. We will talk about stuff but we also have been spending lots of quiet time just sitting…his TV on and my phone or book in my hand.  There is something about just being with each other. I am realizing this more and more and how important it is. He no longer is married and doesn’t have the constant companion of a spouse. His complaints are constant but he just needs to be heard. The pace of his “schedule” is turtle like and all is done in turtle like time. We ventured out to play bingo down the hall yesterday and I was entertained by new characters. One lady made me chuckle over and over. She was rigid and liked to do her own thing….one lady made a remark to her and as quick as ever she said to another lady beside her “isn’t she a pest”….”your a pest”. There was no smile and she was serious. The two ladies had different ways of playing bingo and the one who was playing with the correct rules felt the need to correct her friend. Previously this lady with wit grabbed a cookie from a package of the brand “dads” cookies. She held it up and asked if it was homemade? Another lady told her no it was a “dads cookie” from the maker of Christie. She then said oh Christie made it? So it is homemade?…. i tried to keep the smile off my face from becoming a full out laugh. Life is slow here and my Dad feels the time doesn’t move.Its long, boring, and when you are in pain and uncomfortable time really does stand still. I compare it too having the flu….helpless, weak, tired, nauseous, can’t go anywhere….is this his life now? one long episode of flu?

Conversations:

Me: Dad, do you want to go anywhere while I am here?

Dad: Where would I want to go? blank stare

Me: Is there anything I can get you for your place?

Dad: What do I need? blank stare

Me: are you doing ok here? like do you think this place will be ok/good for you?

Dad: I don’t know how to answer that? blank stare

I smile and say ok:) we just want you to be comfortable here. He reminds me that he will never be comfortable. I smile and reply I know.

Parkinsons is a frustrating disease as I suppose most diseases are. We haven’t been able to stop the progression of it with meds. We will watch in anticipation that it might turn around at some point,but the reality of that is well not great.

This entry really doesn’t serve a purpose per se. Its just me sharing a glimpse of a day with my Dad. There is so much more to say about this whole situation but I will leave that for a different day. Its almost time for lunch and soon he will have to get up so we can head down to the dining room.

 

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