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now you can see my menards special in its glory. Fantastic right?

FYI-I have no intention on using the correct grammar in any of these posts. I don’t think its a priority or needed at all actually. you know what I am saying. I still will never know where a semi colon ;  is needed nor will I ever care.

Somewhere along the line my joy was sucked or snuffed or something. I cannot understand when people laugh at stuff. Some laugh so easily at nothing and Im like “how was that funny”. I do manage to keep that thought usually in my head. Has my sense of humor vanished or is everyone way to light hearted and finds everything blissfully funny. Not me. I have found the only things that make me genuinely laugh is my own farts. As the sound or smell comes out of me, I watch the people around me cringe. Now, i do try to be a lady around the public, but if you are a close family member you will understand what I am referring too. I actually did a real LOL as Im writing this. SO, yah, farts, juvenile I know, but true.

The other only thing is being with family, my sisters primarily. When we are together it is always funny. We are all so much alike yet so different. Our time together is always full of laughing. I will admit I can be very weird and with them is one place where my weird can be my normal and I don’t think twice about what they think.

So-with that there is joy-oooh one more thing. my boys.watching them say get a good tackle, or getting a hit in baseball, or telling me how they helped someone in need, brings me some overwhelming joy. I become so proud of that boy in that moment. I will usually get tears in my eyes if I say more than one sentence to someone while its happening.

but joy altogether, ummm i think left, or I have it and its just not smiley joy-which is possible. When I think of Heaven i can find my joy. Im pretty sure in Heaven there is millions of passion fruit trees, coffee with creamer that doesn’t hurt my stomach, endless plates of perogies and sausage made by my grandma, zero crap feelings-no mental illness, I mean hello. I can only imagine who I will be in heaven. I will be free of medication and heavy dark invisible things on my shoulders. and Im sure I will laugh easily at everything…..but the best part is I have decided I will sit on or lay on Jesus lap forever. I mean thinking of these things brings some smiles and joy. AND NO  S O C I A L anxiety—-freedom!

So with that you can keep laughing at “funny” stuff and I will keep trying to figure out how that is funny.

Warning-judging me on my writing is prohibited and I will punch you if you approach me about it.